Wow!!!! This is alot harder than I ever imagined. I have found myself going to sleep thinking about Darya, waking up thinking about Darya, and daydreaming about her during the day. How does that make me feel? Well, it makes me feel guilty because my focus is supposed to be on the Lord (number 1) and I also have 3 precious children in front of my face. Don't get me wrong... I love my 3 boys. Anyone who knows me.... knows that much!!! I have prayed so much lately about refocusing. I know that the Lord holds my future and I have no doubt that He has big, big plans for our family. He knows that my desire is to put Him first in my life. Also, he knows how very deeply I love all my children. I'm thankful He has chosen Kerry and I to parent soon to be 4 children. But.... I finally remember ..... He understands!!!!!!!
"Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite." Psalm 147:5
As a book of Bible verses that I so often turn to says: "Never hesitate to turn to God in your joy, or in your challenges. He understands your motivations, your struggles, and your faith."
So..... what am I going to do?..... I am going to continue to daydream about my beautiful daughter because that is what an expectant Mom does. :))))
Karen
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3 comments:
Oh, Karen what a beautiful post! Our wait for our court date was by far the most challening part of our adoption journey. We're all continuing to pray for you & Darya. God DOES understand! While it's difficult to come to terms with the fact that His timing is not our timing, it is in fact the truth!
You know what, Karen...not only does He understand, but that is how He made us. That is what these children need in a mother: someone to love them with that kind of love in a world where everyone else has abandoned them. You are definitely hand-chosen, my friend!
Praying for you,
Jana
I know it is hard to focus on life here when your daughter is in Russia.
It won't be long.
Thinking of you!
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